jon's found funnies
As well as making silly things I love collecting them too, and over the last 20 years I've steadfastly built up an archive of bizarre footage, some of which I've shared online. Well, it's a hobby.
shark attack 3: megalodon
This is in a sense where it all started. I put this clip on Youtube in 2006, didn't send it to a soul, but somehow it's made its way to over 51 million hits. Well worth it, I'm sure you'll agree.
The Queen gives David Cameron an evil
During the 2015 Queen's speech, I spotted the British monarch giving a very noticeable look as she announced the idea of a British 'bill of rights'.
will.i.am makes the worst analogy of all time
I found this little gem of a soundbite while rummaging around in some news footage and it always makes me sile. Mr I.Am is a multi-award-winning, multi-million-album-selling megastar musician and producer, but to listen to him talk here you could almost be forgiven for thinking the man's a complete cretin.
world 100m streaking champion
I was lucky enough to attend the 2017 World Athletics Championships in London, but arguably less lucky to witness a track invasion by this curious fellow, not once but twice in the course of the week. He might be past his prime in the fitness stakes, but he still gives security a run for their money.
bbc weatherman finger fail
This clip helped make the reputation of cheeky-chappie weatherman Tomas Schafernaker. It's had over a million hits and captures the moment that he was caught on air when he wasn't expecting it. He spent some time working on radio after this.
The ultimate Crystal Maze fail?
It's one thing to fail at the games at the Crystal Maze, but you'd think the contestants should at least be able to make it comfortably into the game zones...
John McDonnell's maths fail
This man believes he will be the next shadow chancellor. Fingers crossed the UK Treasury provides him with a calculator.
John Inverdale's Rose-c***ed glasses
Sports presenter John Inverdale has a track record of putting his foot in it, but never more spectacularly than when he couldn't decide whether to say someone's glasses were rose-coloured or rose-tinted...
Cheery BBC Announcer misjudges the tone
This must be a big occupational hazard in the world of TV continuity announcing: when you start a sentence in one tone, and then realise too late you should have picked another one.
Clare Balding versus ISIS
When the Oxford University Boat Race reserve crew is known as ISIS, if you're a sports presenter these days you might want to be careful what language you use...
When Brian Blessed bit an umbilical cord
The man is a hero and a legend, and this clip is just one reason why.
Jeremy Vine gets possessed by Alan Partridge
This is the most extraordinary piece of talk radio I've ever heard, bar none. Only Jeremy Vine could segue between these two subjects so, er, effortlessly.
Rosamund Pike's BAFTA fail
Both Rosamund Pike and Dominic Cooper are excellent actors, but this awards presentation moment is neither's finest hour. Great entertainment, though.
Paxman says c*nts
I put this in my C of the Season montage, but here's the original clip I found of Jeremy Paxman not just saying the word but then wondrously styling it out.
the most boring tv clip of all time
A profile of 2015 World Snooker Champion Stuart Bingham (before he lifted the sport's greatest prize), this clip does exactly what it says on the tin. Why put such dull music over the clip? Madness.
klinsmann's amazing world cup quote
This might be the most understated summary of 20th century history you'll ever hear, delivered by one of Germany's, nay Tottenham's greatest ever strikers.
BBC Radio Fail: Albert Speer in Spandau Ballet
A slip of the tongue just waiting to happen, it's still lovely to hear this idea voiced by a BBC continuity announcer.
The dirty old BBC election guy
This frankly shocking clip demonstrates that even in buttoned-up Britain and on the prim and proper BBC, sexism was utterly rife not very long ago. Things might not be perfect today but thankfully the thought of any presenter getting away with this kind of lecherous chat is a thing of the past.
mic picks up reaction to MP being called to sleep
I caught this strange little moment during Prime Minister's Questions, back in the dusty days of David Cameron's premiership. Listen carefully and you can tell that former Lib Dem MP Dr Julian Huppert clearly wasn't the most popular member of the House.
did jesus come from outer space?
It's rare to see genuinely barmy attitudes getting air-time on national television, so when it happens it needs to be celebrated. Sunday mornings on BBC One is the traditional 'god spot' when viewers are treated to anaemic discussions of the big questions in life, the universe and beyond. Host Nicky Campbell does well not to lose it completely, trying his best to sound like he doesn't think these people are utter morons.
alistair mcgowan makes a strange impression
A curious moment I found from a celebrity episode of long-running quiz show Pointless, in which impressionist Alistair McGowan tries to do some impressions of fellow comedians, and it's fair to say he doesn't quite hit the bullseye. If you know who he's trying to mimic, you'll know how far from the mark he lands.
cowboy blows himself up
A brilliant moment captured by old Channel 5 show Dumber and Dumber, hosted by cult DJ Tommy Vance, this is just an unusual clip climaxing in an astonishing explosion. Thankfully the cowboy in question walks away unscathed, somehow.
BBC reporter impersonates a jihadist
Wanna hear a posh British journalist imagine how terrorists chat, bruv? Here's your chance!
Newsnight goes chap-hop
The revelation that this is Michael Gove's favourite type of music might, in a tiny symbolic way, sum up the entire swinging of the political pendulum towards Labour and Jeremy Corbyn. You be the judge!
The school with a zoo
I include this clip partly because it's a bizarre description of a very odd south London school, and partly because it was my school. Believe it or not, they barely scratch the surface.
best lego set ever: lenny henry Premier Inn advert
If you haven't been to the amazing Lego Ideas site you should. It's just sad that nobody's suggested this as a commercially available set, because I'd be first in the queue.
The BBC's ode to curling
Made for the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, this was the BBC's attempt to turn the sport of Curling (which involves pushing rocks on some ice, and that's it) into an epic battle of mind, body and soul via some eyebrow-raisingly expensive animation and some ludicrously pompous voiceover from commentator Eddie Butler, the master of the one-word... Sentence.
Ed balls goes mad
An early sign that this man might be destined not for Number 11 Downing Street but for an early evening light-entertainment celebrity dance series on mainstream British Saturday television...
Sherlock bones: undercover dog
Amongst the earliest clips I posted on Youtube is this unheralded gem from the world of movies that star dogs. The title 'Sherlock Bones' promises far more than the film itself delivers, but it is notable for this lovely moment in which - despite being a kids' movie - our canine detective hero gets into enough trouble to shout 'SHIIIIIIIT!'
film director uwe boll knocks out his critics
German director Uwe Boll has sadly retired from filmmaking, which is a shame if like me you enjoy collecting genuinely terrible movies. He doesn't like bad reviews, so much so that in 2007 he challenged some of his critics to a fight. Thinking it might be a laugh, some of them agreed. Uwe neglected to mention one small fact: he used to be a semi-pro boxer. Cue some very quick exits from our heroic critics...
Another small taste of my archive of films so bad they're kinda great, this explains what Ian Smith did during his Neighbours hiatus, when his character Harold disappeared off the edge of a cliff and before he returned with unexplained amnesia: he made a completely incomprehensible horror film! He gets his ear bitten off, carries a gun and says "Fuck". But the rest of the movie is pretty rubbish. Still, this clip is quite fun.
rubber velociraptor rampage
One of my favourite clips from the early years of trawling bargain bins in local video shops, this is from a movie called Primal Species (aka Carnosaur 3), and is notable for the sole reason that it includes super-intelligent velociraptors but a) lacks Jurassic Park's budget, and b) was made before cheap CGI became widely available. So they took the natural course of action to portray these terrifying beasts: they put a man in a rubber suit. It's a bad film but a loveable clip.
he's a giraffe. a human one
I found this little moment of joy during the Rugby World Cup in England during the autumn of 2015. It conjures the spirit of Alan Partridge in the silliness of the metaphor.