12 Reasons the Election is like the Boat Race (with apologies to Buzzfeed)

1. It's full of people who went to Oxford and Cambridge.

2. Occasionally a narcissistic dickhead decides to jump in.

3. Most years the whole thing is a boring procession and the result's obvious from the start. 

4. But just occasionally we get a really unpredictable one.

5. Throughout proceedings the contestants get screamed at.

6. Foreign imports are brought in to bolster the teams.

7. The BBC spends a shit-tonne of money on the coverage despite the fact most people couldn't give a toss.

8. The heaviest team often wins.

9. The direction of travel is decided by the cox.

10. Losing really, really hurts.

11. It's clearly still a two-horse race.

12. And at the end somebody gets ritually tossed aside.

Jon HarveyComment